Life as I know It
by Nadeshiko291210
Summary: Speaking 8 languages by age 5,a professional Assassin by age 7, raised by 6 male assassins from the age of five on, and the adopted little-sister of one of the world's most dangerous killers. It was kinda obvious that our dear Tuna was stuck with yet another psychopathic idiot.
1. Chapter 1: Ehhh!

**Dysfunctional Families**

Speaking 8 languages by age 5,a professional Assassin by age 7, raised by 6 male assassins from the age of five on, and the adopted little-sister of one of the world's most dangerous killers. It was kinda obvious that our dear Tuna was stuck with yet another psychopathic idiot.

I don't own Katekyo hitman reborn.

* * *

Prologue:

Dying was unique. To say the least.

It wasn't so much the notation of dying that scared me. It was more of where I would end up.

Heaven, in all its supposed glory sounded too boring.

And there was no way in hell you could stick me in Hell. I wasn't a masochist. I'm a sadist.

I probably shouldn't be able to remember much of my past life, but I was always weird either way.

Well, starting from the beginning, I kinda died. Can't remember how though.

Then I closed my eyes.

And opened them again to find myself floating.

It felt like I was awake, yet asleep, and partially incomplete.

Hey. That kinda rhymes.

I came to the conclusion that I was in a womb.

I could hear voices, like the sound of my new mother's voice, and the booming laugh of my father.

Eventually, after what seemed like eternity, I felt myself ready to leave.

Of course, nothing went as planned.

* * *

That fated day was horrible. There were screams. My mother's. And a voice trying desperately to calm her down. My father's.

But then it stopped.

Everything was so quiet.

Just as I came into this new world, my mother left it.

I would only know her for once in my life.

She was an unfamiliar person, but she had that motherly aura around her that was so soothing.

But she was dead.

I looked down at my small hands, at the red that stained them.

* * *

_Blood._

Why?

_I only wanted to live._

* * *

Soon after that, I came to learn that I was named Chishi Kaneme. [1]

Apparently, my family was part of a mafia family called the Vongola.

Sound familiar, anyone?

When I first found out, my reaction was:

… _Ehhhhh!?_

… _Shit._

So, at that glorious moment on December 30th, a week or so after I had been reborn, I resolved to make Tsunayoshi's life better.

I would later agree that this was probably one of the stupidest moments in my life.

* * *

If you have any questions, comments, reviews, please leave a review.

Chishi Kaneme means Lethal Golden eyes.

-nadeshiko291210


	2. Chapter 2: Bastard Esterneos

**A/N: Update! **

**I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! I only own Chishi.**

* * *

Chapter 2: In which I learn how bastard the Esterneo were

Ok, well, living in this new world was weird.

I mean, my father was freaking awesome. Well, at least to me.

I mean, I got to learn how to ask: Where's the bathroom? In 4 different languages. Which is pretty good for a baby with majorly undeveloped vocal cords. Plus, he told me that he planned on teaching me a bunch of martial arts in the next few years. Nice. I always wanted to learn Systema.

I mean, he's practically making me the perfect Tsunayoshi protector. Cool.

* * *

_Whenever I think about this time, I wish I could just remember to say "I love you, Daddy"._

* * *

That day was cold. So, so cold.

He had left me in an abandoned mansion, telling me to stay there until he came back. I remember that we were being chased by people, from another family.

So we ran.

My father was obviously a fighter, but he always put me in before himself, so he would not kill any of those men. Not in front of me. We found the building, and he left me there for a day.

When he came back, I was so, so relived.

Though bruised, and bleeding, he was still alive.

Though not for long.

They had found us.

I can still hear his last conversation.

" _Give us the girl!"_

"_Why? Did we not have a deal?"_

" _We have been shunned by the Vongola! This is the way we can restore our honour! Think about Elise! She would have wanted her child to become the pride of the Esterneo!"_

" _DON'T GROUP ELISE WITH YOU RAT BASTARDS!"_

"_Then we will kill the girl, for if she is not the Esterneos', then she is no one's."_

The distinct bang of a gun.

"_Take…care, Mio caro."_

_Red._

* * *

When I woke up, I felt like I had been run over by a truck carrying obese cows at a speed of 100 miles per hour, and had my guts stuffed back in after I had just been decapitated.

Oh, my bad. Too much information.

In general, I just felt really bad.

Then I remembered the events proceeding to his incident.

And then realization struck me even harder than the truck carrying obese cows. (Which was saying something)

_I was kidnapped by the Esterneo._

_For human experimentation._

…_Fuck._

* * *

_Stab._

_Stab._

_Cut._

_Stab._

_Flinch._

_Smack._

_And then you get thrown into a small cell with 13 other bruised, beat up children._

_Thus ends another day at Esterneo Labs. Please come again tomorrow._

As if that could actually happen. It's not like I have a choice anyways. No, seriously, I don't.

4 years here can seal off your chances.

Oh yeah, and 2 years ago I started to call the bastard Esterneos bastards. I still do.

I'm so proud of myself.

Is that what they call small victories?

Of course, this lead to me being thrown around a few times like a rag doll and being starved for a few days every few times.

And meeting a certain pineapple.

No joke.

It went something like this:

" Bastards! Let me go!"

"INSOLENT TRASH! Don't talk to me like that! I'll fucking kill you!"

Insert me being beat up…

And lying in there after being starved…

"Bambina-chan, are you okay?"

I snapped back at the voice.

I looked up to see the face of young Mukuro Rokudo. And I, being in shock after seeing the face of one of the actual anime characters, just stared at him with a completely blank face.

"Umm… If you want, you could have this…"

He dangled a piece of tantalizing bread in my face.

Ok, some maybe it wasn't the most appetizing piece of bread, but hey, when it's being offered to you by a totally out-of-character FREAKING ADORABLE young Mukuro, and you were starving after being thrown around for a few hours: YOU. TAKE. THE. PIECE. OF. BREAD. ( A.k.a: Your ticket to Cloud nine. Or as close to it as you can get when you're in the mafia.)

But because Mukuro Dokuro was older than you in this world, you call him Mukuro-nii. Or Fratello.

"… Fratello." I said absent-mindingly.

" Huh?"

" I'm going to call you Fratello from now on."

* * *

Thus began our wonderful brother-sister relationship. That was 2 years ago.

Sigh. Time passes rather quickly when needles are being stabbed into you daily.

I met Ken and Chikusa shortly after I met Fratello- Mukuro.

Chikusa was cool, even if he acted wimpy as a kid. When I taught him how to effectively hide food away that wasn't eaten in our 3 minute-feeding time, we became food-buddies.

Ken was cool too, but I still haven't forgiven him for when he tried to steal my piece of bread. And he calls me Creepy-eyes. The little bastard.

* * *

"Ano, Chi-chan? What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Fratello? I'm picking the fleas from your hair." I replied, not looking up from pinching those bastard fleas.

"But why? I mean, it's not like we have anything to look nice for anyways."

I sighed. Mukuro right now still had a long way to go until he became the future sexy illusionist that he would become.

"Well, I think it has more to do with me than you. You see Fratello, I'm a incredibly vain witch that wants to take over the universe and blow up all existence that is even remotely unbeautiful." I said with a completely straight face.

" Really?-I mean, does that mean you'll blow up me too?!"

I facepalmed. " No fratello darling. It's called sarcasm."

"Oh. Then why are you doing this?" He asked, slightly disheartened after being introduced to sarcasm.

"'Cause you're gonna grow up to be a smexy beast one day. And I still wanna be the one that does your ,you have better hair then me. I jelly." I explained, while tying his hair into a pineapple ponytail.

"... Oh. Um... Do you really think that I'll grow up to be a s-s-smexy beast?"

I patted his head. Poor thing, unable to even say 'Smexy' without stuttering.

"Oh, Fratello-Darling, I know so."

* * *

"I r-r-really a-appreciate it, b-but-" Chikusa began.

"Chikusa. You will take it. Or else. I will personally force you to." I glared at him, watching him flinch and cower behind Ken.

"Oi, what do you plan on doing to Kakipi, Creepy-eyes?"

I turned my glaring power up to the max...

"Ken, get in the way of my and forcing skinny-ass Chikusa to eat and I will hurt. Very badly."

He shivered and shoved Chikusa in front of him.

I smiled sweetly, though we could all tell it was a scary smile that clearly said 'Listen to me or you will feel true pain'.

" Now eat the damn piece of bread!"

* * *

_In those passing days, I realized that despite the pain and starvation, I was happy._

* * *

I didn't want this to happen.

My worst fears.

I can still see the white coats.

The pain of feeling every single bone in my legs shatter, being picked out, and reinserted with the awkwardness of the altered shard.

_Pain._

_Pain._

**_Pain._**

* * *

_This feels nostalgic._

_"Tch. This one failed too. Let's dispose of it."_

_"Man, finally. It's screams were getting too damn loud. Should we burn it?"_

_"Nah, it would only attract attention. Just dump it in the river."_

_**I can still hear them.**_

_**Hurt.**_

_**Pain.**_

_**Wrath.**_

_**Burn.**_

_**I want to see them burn...**_

_**Burn...**_

_**BURN.**_

* * *

Vongola Nono wasn't sure what to expect when he was told that the 4 year old child of one of his most loyal- dead subordinates had been found.

Timoteo had seen a lot in his lifetime, being in the later part of his life.

He held a firm belief that children should never, stain their hands and burden themselves with the blood and the sin that they might one day have to carry in their later years.

However, when the child was brought before him, he could see that the calm façade was clearly a mask that people far older than her wore.

When he looked into her eyes, he saw sadness, grief, and the blood lust that no child should ever have in their eyes.

But could he really call her a child?

He wasn't sure, but he was far too familiar with the look in her eyes.

He saw the same look in the eyes of himself, his sons, and his subordinates.

The look of a killer.

* * *

**Questions? Comments? Reviews? Leave a message.**

**Nadeshiko291210**


	3. Chapter 3: Varia Schedules

**A/N: Update! As a Christmas present!**

**Thank yous to **

**Grisia ( The next chappie is here!)**

**chibianimefan18 ( It's still cute.)**

**Mian2796(Thank you for the awesome reviews! XD )**

**And everyone else who favorite and followed!**

Chapter 3: Varia

* * *

I knew there were memories before that point, I just couldn't remember them.

There were so many blanks.

It was only when they found me that the blanks began to fill.

My name was Chishi Kaneme.

I am age 5.

My father is dead.

My mother is dead.

I have black hair.

I am Japanese.

I know I am lacking in many things.

I remember I had a brother.

I had my 2 best friends.

Why can't I remember them?

I know that I have the memories of someone much older.

I know that no matter what they tell me, I am responsible for the death of those men.

* * *

The first time Timoteo had a full conversation with the girl was regarding her new residence and possible goals for the future.

He had thought after what the girl went through, that she would want nothing to do with the mafia.

Instead, she had told him point blank that she was considering joining the Varia when she was older.

This caused the ninth to heave over in a series of coughs, caused by choking on his own spit.

The first reason was because, this was a 5 year old talking. A 5 year old that spent most of her life locked away in a cell, having needles stabbed into herself daily.

Secondly, How does a five-year old that has been isolated for most of her life even know about the Varia?!

Third, Xanxus won't exactly be happy to see another wrath flame user around. (Cough, Cough, Understatement of the decade, He'd probably try to kill the girl in the first 30 seconds of their meeting.)

Forth, he wasn't about to lecture the Varia about how killing little girls is wrong. In their eyes it would probably be justified by a lot of 'VOI's and creepy laughter. The last therapist ran away screaming and trying to scratch out his eyes.

He was moping in his own thoughts just as she spoke to him the words that he considered no 5 year old to be able to comprehend.

Than in his desperation to try to deter the girl, he offered to adopt her as his own daughter.

She looked at him, and just shook her head.

* * *

Squalo stared at the ninth. Then at the spot beside the ninth. Then he rubbed his eyes, pinched himself, and smacked himself across the face.

And looked back at the spot beside the ninth again.

"VOOOOIIIII! WHY THE FUCK IS THE BRAT STILL THERE?!"

The said brat just barely managed to dodge a swipe from Squalo's spatha.

" Squ-chan, I was here the entire time."

" DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!"

" Squ-chan, I'm a little 4-five old girl with virgin ears. Please refrain from using such crude language."

" HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TALK SO WELL THEN?!"

Naturally, Lussuria, stepped in before Squalo decided that he wanted to cut the poor girl into sashimi.

" Squ-chan! Listen to the adorable little girl! She has virgin ears!" He stated while pouting and covering the little girl's ears.

"VOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIII! DO YOU THINK I GIVE A-"

"_Ahem._"

All eyes in the room snapped towards the Ninth.

" As I was stating before Squalo so rudely interrupted us, Xanxus, I'm assigning you to raise this girl and provide a proper home for her."

" Old man, what the fuck makes you think I want to look after some trash-brat that somehow gained your favour? I'M XANXUS, NOT SOME DAMNED BABYSITTER, SO IF YOU WANT THAT BRAT TO GET A DAMNED LIFE, DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND DUMP HER IN SOME ORPHANAGE!"

The said brat just raised her hand and said in small emotionless voice:

"I have no right to the mantle of Vongola X, so you can have it. I still have my flames,besides, it'll be fun to see what you can do as Vongola X anyway. So as long as you don't kill me, I'm fine."

There was a long completive silence, before Xanxus burst out laughing.

At that moment, one thought ran through the heads of the Varia.

"_What the fuck is going o_n_?"_

However, much to Squalo's chagrin and Lussuria's delight, Xanxus eventually ( he was drunk) agreed to let the Varia raise the brat, on the conditions that when she grew up she would work for the Varia, no one would be driven mentally insane, and that Xanxus was allowed to fire at her like he did with all the other Varia members.

The rest of the Varia's reactions varied:

Levi quickly became disinterested and continued to 'Loyally' serve the Boss. Belphegor acted like he didn't care, but was truthfully pretty happy that he had another 'peasant' to mess around with. And Mammon _really_ didn't care.

This was came to how Chishi Kaneme came to live with Varia.

* * *

Ok, so I admit, joining the Varia was probably not the best thing to do.

... Second thought, what the hell was going on in my head?!

No. You must not second guess yourself.

Not when there's a gay man who snaps necks for living outside your door ready to drag your ass off onto another day of extensive language courses and training regimes meant for grown, hardcore, elite military men.

Groan.

Ok.

Let's do this.

* * *

After a few days, the rest of the Varia and I managed to settle into a (somewhat) normal routine.

6:00 a.m. : Woken up by Luss-okaa-san. Manages to drag half-awaken corpse/body outside for jogging around the Varia estate.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING BIG THAT IS?! AND I HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST YET!"

"But, Chi-chan, look on the bright side, it you pass out, you get to rest!"

"..."

6:30 a.m. Exercises with Squ-chan

" VOOOOOI! ALRIGHT BRAT, DROP AND GIVE ME 300!"

"Squ-chan, it's supposed to be twenty..."

7:00 a.m. Breakfast

"...Levi-san, is this even edible?"

"...Probably not."

"... Take out?"

"... Keep quiet, and you got yourself a deal."

8:00 a.m. Mathematics with Mammon-chan

" So, if you take the interest, and the amount due... are you even listening?"

*Snore*

10:00 a.m. Languages with Bel-san

" Bonjour, stupide."

"...Am I supposed to answer to that?"

12:00 p.m. Lunch

" OI, BEL, DON'T TOUCH MY FOOD, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"Ushi shi shi shi shi. The prince did not steal your food."

" Mou, mou Squa-chan, we can just make more if you want... hey, where'd my plate go?"

*Munch*

"BRAT!"

1:00 p.m. Assassin Studies with Mammon-chan or Levi-san or Luss-okaa-chan or Squa-chan or Bel-san

" Alright brat. When some old bastard you need to kill comes up to you, what do you do?"

"Um... Stick a knife up his ass? Or a bullet?"

"Hmm, it was actually supposed to be a dart in this situation... but close enough."

3:00 p.m. Hacking with some lower Varia technician

"Ok, let see, when over-riding the defences, what would be the most ideal thing to over ride it with?"

"... A really big porn picture?"

5:00 p.m. Free Hour before dinner

"So, what episode were we on?"

"Oh silly girl! We're moving on to Boys over Flowers today! You should see them! Gorgeous!"

6:00 p.m. Dinner

Shouts.

Screams.

Yells.

Well, what kind of dinner were you expecting to have with the Varia?

7:00 p.m. Movie

"No. The prince refuses to watch some second-rate mafia movie."

"But, Bel-chan, the Godfather isn't some second-rate mafia family! It's a classic!"

9:00 Sleep (At least for me)

sleep...

* * *

And that is pretty much how my everyday schedule went.

Notice how there's no mention of Xanxus

'Cause he just stays in his room like a boss.

See how useful Schedules are? They can incorporate people like Xanxus.

* * *

" _I have already stained my hands with the blood of men. If I were to try to leave this sin behind, it would be like covering a stain of blood with a blank white sheet; it gives the illusion that everything will be alright, but eventually the blood will soak through the sheet, making it worse than the original stain of blood, and staining the white."_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry that took so long… Xanxus is just really hard to write. And cause I had other stuff.** **Chapters are slowly getting longer…**

**Which is good, considering the fact that this is my first fic…**

**I know. I still suck.**

**Comments? Questions? Reviews? Criticism? Leave a message or review.**

**Nadeshiko291210**


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